America’s Next Top Model Review
This week"s Top Model started off like any other episode with all of the ladies returning home and each equally relieved to have survived another elimination round. The excitement soon erupted back up, however, when our free bird Kayla helped herself to a handful of medication and became the main attraction in the house. A few tears, a couple of vomit sessions and a trip to the hospital later, Kayla was thankfully back to her normal self and able to continue on with the competition. Ironically, she was just in time for the episode’s first challenge which entailed auditioning for a small part on the television show CSI. Memorizing the script you were just given in a mere thirty minutes while staring at a set full of cadavers, no matter how fake, couldn’t have been easy to stomach after the hospital ordeal but like the other models, Kayla pulled through it.
The CSI auditions were judged by Jay Manuel and the actual CSI creator and executive producer, Anthony E. Zuiker. The winning model with the best audition would then be featured in an upcoming fall episode, granted they actually were able to read the words written in the script. In typical CSI fashion, or maybe more ANTM fashion, the challenge was made difficult on purpose with the use of extra lengthy, tongue-twisting medical jargon that literally only two girls could spit out. Here is how most of the auditions went: “The tox report says the gas chromocycle, mass spectroeoh mzxcknanklr, Neosporin.” Doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it? I didn’t know the ability to mash a keyboard with your fist and then audibly relay the results were possible, until now. But then along came Angelea with her "gas chromotographer mass spectrometer" that blew away her competition and wowed Mr. CSI. Just when things were looking bleak for the CSI casting department, yet another model, Bre, stepped up and aced the audition. Although it was a close call between Bre and Angelea, Bre played out the gruesome scene with just slightly more eloquence than her competitor did and won the challenge.
Since one of the many prizes for winning the America’s Next Top Model All-stars competition is a campaign with the clothing company Express, this episode was as good a time as any to let the models get even more familiar with the prestigious brand. Each girl got to pose with three supporting male models while portraying one of four personas: the cool chick, the socialite, the flirt or the girlfriend. Most of the models who had been doing well week after week thus far did expectedly well on the shoot, for example, Allison, whose doll-like appearance can seemingly do no wrong on film. Then we have Bianca. Talk about being too big for your britches (sorry, but that wasn’t a pun on her weight although that would have been a great dig) but this one can’t help but keep reminding everyone how she’s the only real model in the bunch. I had no idea that this was true since I had never seen nor heard of her outside of ANTM. I know, isn’t that weird? Anyway, crazy Lisa was the last to go and her jumping and flailing about proved to be nothing short of just painful to watch and successfully turned her from "the cool chick" to "the chick that’s trying way too hard" in a matter of seconds.
Knowing that the impending doom, also known as the judging panel, was lurking in the shadows, model after model started jumping on the insecurity train. If it wasn"t this one"s self-consciousness over their age it was that one’s anxiety over the state of their health. One by one, the judges soon discussed each model"s Express photo and eventually came to the most logical decisions that they could. Tyra, in another one of her signature jumpsuits (a fad which she reportedly says she will NEVER give up), eventually delivered the good news to best photo winner that week, Angelea, and runner up, Dominique. As each name was called, the tension in the room rose until it was Camille and Lisa left in the lonely bottom two. Lisa"s complete lack of her trademark enthusiasm landed her in that detrimental position this week but the judges must still see a flame lit inside her since it was decided that Camille’s boring and empty photos were worse and gave her the boot instead. It all just goes to show that "pretty” can only take you so far.